it’s been a long time

i know.  you don’t have to remind me.  i haven’t written anything on this blog for close to a year.  for lots of reasons.  obvious logistics… you know, the wife hat, the mother to 2 hat, the house caretaker hat, the bill-payer hat, etc.  

truthfully, though, i’ve really just been fearful to write. feeling like i don’t have anything worthwhile to share.  scared of vulnerability.

while this blog has primarily been focused on family life, little boy M and baby E, and the fun happenings in our household, i want it to be more.  i want to share more… from the heart.  the story that God has given me….oh yea, like i said i would in my last post…   :)

so, here it goes… 

some time ago, my husband {or my Mr., as i like to refer to him as}, sent a story my way by Reggie Joiner.  i had actually just read this particular story in one of his books as well, so there was extra emphasis added.   after reading it, my first thought was, “i have no idea what makes me come alive?  what gives me energy? life?”   

i’ve thought about these questions a lot over the past several months.  and still, i don’t know that i’m much closer to the answer.   don’t get me wrong.  i love being a stay-at-home mother.  i absolutely adore my precious littles and wouldn’t want to give the responsibility of raising them to anyone else.  i think i’m a good mother… most of the time.  let’s be honest, i have my moments of failure too. we all do.  regardless, there’s nothing else i’d rather be doing for this time and place in my life.   but am i happy?  not really.  truth be told, most of the time, i probably look a bit depressed.  more to be said about that later. 

anyways, it’s funny how God brings things full circle at times in our lives.  in my last post {written  a looooong time ago}, i was reflecting on one of my favorite author’s words.  and wouldn’t you know it, but today, i sat down and listened to a talk given by Shauna herself.  

i love her boldness.  i love her vulnerability {and her mother’s vulnerability} to share their stories with women like me.   i can sooo relate to what she shared about her mother’s journey…

maybe you find yourself asking the same questions?  that’s good. we can be on this journey together.  i really don’t want my children to say of me when they’re older… “she was a good mother, but she wasn’t a happy mother.”  

i’m going to find what makes me happy, what gives me passion, what makes me come alive.  i hope you do too. 

Published on: September 4, 2014 | Tags:

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